


I'll tell you I love you (and mean it the last time)

by lepetitjames



Series: Wolfstar Poems [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, poem, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-25
Updated: 2015-03-25
Packaged: 2018-03-19 12:54:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3610800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lepetitjames/pseuds/lepetitjames
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius Black doesn't know the meaning of love, but he does know he loves Remus Lupin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll tell you I love you (and mean it the last time)

The first time I said “I love you” You were stunned and silent for a while We were 11 years old and neither of us understood the meaning of love anyway

Then I said it again, You looked at me disbelievingly, tears in your eyes “I don’t care that you’re a werewolf” I promised to me, love was still a mystery

We’re thirteen and you’re in my arms you’re a mess after the full moon I tell you “I love you”, but you shake your head I whisper it again as if that will make it true but you told me “no, you don’t.” I don’t know how to reply to that

Its your fourteenth birthday today but you’re not feeling very well so to cheer you up, i say “i love you” you laugh this time and roll your eyes “if you say so, padfoot”

we’re fifteen years old and gloating the process is complete and you won’t be alone again james prances around looking already stag-like and peter cheers on but i wrap my arms around you whisper the words you seemed to doubtful of before and you nod, letting me rest my head on your shoulder

its our sixth year and i’m on the knight bus after the fight, shaking, crying but you don’t know about it until the term starts again i didn’t think you’d mind but you seem hurt so i whisper those words as a means of comfort you turn your back on me i try not to mind i mind very much

its our last time on the train and for once, all four of us are silent i stare out of the window as hogwarts disappears slowly hoping you won’t see my tears but you see them anyway and you say to us, “i love you” and its the first time ever james laughs like its not a big deal but my tears wont stop falling

and we were twenty one and they’re gone, james and lily and harry, harry’s been taken and a bunch of people i don’t know are holding me dragging me away and all i can think is that you’re not around and i’m all alone just when i thought i had it made so i laugh and they’re all disgusted but all i can do is laugh, so i laugh and you’re nowhere to be found

its been twelve years since i lost it all james, lily, harry, you and i can’t help but feel betrayed the world thinks i would’ve sold my best friend out and so do you and all those times i whispered “i love you” you believe they were lies

then i leave this hell, this prison the monsters that haunt my dreams now hot on my tail and i’m terrified, and broken but i’m innocent and i need to find that rat and you especially you

so when you start transforming on the night we were supposed to get it all back i beg you i whimper but you continue transforming and this isn’t fun there’s nothing to be explored this is just torture and i tell you, “i love you”

this time, i understand what that word means it means pain, and having my entire life taken away and rebuilding it so it accomodates you 


End file.
